SWWIM Every Day: “What Haunts Me”

“What Haunts Me” | Published in SWWIM Every Day https://www.swwim.org/swwimeveryday/2021/12/8/what-haunts-me?rq=paula colangelo  

Sometimes in meditation

I see a pinhole of light

in the distance. It disappears

and I can’t get it back,

can’t go to the place it’s leading me.

The same beacon from anchored boats

on a dark ocean.

I wake to light rising,

to thoughts of two sisters

in treatment together.

Jolted back to when

their pregnancies aligned–

Elated until

one lost the baby

eight months in.

Now the day is becoming

overcast. I stare at the clean

white rug, the table that once

leaned in a forest. Sunrise,

but I see no sun.