Connecticut River Review: “My Father’s Autopsy,” 2022

“My Father’s Autopsy,” 2022 published in Connecticut River Review My Father's Autopsy

What we learned

you didn’t know yourself—

enlarged prostate, swollen heart,

aneurysm that claimed you.

What we learned

I didn’t know when I found you.

Your clothes set out for the next

workday when the sound of collapse

drew me in to check. I was younger

than my youngest child is now

unaware I couldn’t save you

as I stumbled to recall CPR.

Forgot to tilt head back, check airways.

It took years to believe there was nothing

I could have done. A pre-med friend

once invited me to see the cadavers.

Smell of formaldehyde, cool air

and rows of white cloth.

She said it was important for people

to respect the deceased who gave their bodies

to science. And so many years later I do—

I think of the woman with breast cancer,

the man with cirrhosis, nameless but willing

to bare their injury under light.